Future Now
The IFTF Blog
Future of caring in India
Reading the stories on Ruby's bequest has made me think about the future of caring in India. I was particularly taken in by the story of Frieda DSouza who is grappling with how to care for her mother from a distance (http://rubysbequest.org/story.aspx?sid=151). India is at an interesting place when you think about caring. Traditionally, the son(s) had to take care of their elderly parents. It was often easy to fulfill this obligation as people lived in joint families. Everyone lived under the same room so it was easy for the son to take care of his parents. The son's wife also believed that she was duty bound to take care of her in-laws, and in most cases it was an arrangement that was not challenged or questioned. It was good to have the elderly in the house when grandchildren arrived in the family. The mother-in-law would often help out with the young children -- giving baths, making them nap, feeding them etc.
But now a lot is changing. More and more women are getting more educated and are working. Many are exerting their independence, and want to live in a nuclear family. We are also seeing young people migrating away from their homes for work. As a result there is a large number of elderly people who are living by themselves alone in their homes. Nursing homes for the elderly are almost non-existent. There is a lot of social taboo against nursing homes. Most young people would never send their parents to a nursing home. It is perceived as abandoning your parents, and shirking your responsibilities.
To meet the caring needs of their parents, but still have some independence, people are trying to strike a balance between tradition and modernity. Often young people live in the same building as their parents. This is a win-win situation for everyone. If the elderly fall sick then their children are close by. Grandparents are available to take care of the children when the mother is in school. I had interviewed a couple for our BRIC work who lived in an apartment above their parents in the same building. This was good for both the families. Grandparents would pick the child from school, and take care of him till the mother returned from work. If parents needed medicine or anything else their children were close to them.
But it will be interesting to see as life expectancy increases in India, and more and more people live in nuclear families, what kind of new caring arrangements will evolve?